BREAKING NEWS: London Olympics Security Penetrated by Galway Whooker
international | rights and freedoms | other press 
Wednesday May 16, 2012 13:38
by BrianClarkeNUJ - AllVoices 
Disgrace O'Malley
So I'm kind of just thinking out loud and I’ll just write the stuff here. If you don’t feckin like what you're reading, you can just piss off! So I'm sittin here on a tropical island in the south China sea, with more pussy than you can shake your stick at! Now I've been thinking lately about the swinging Londoners. So Swinging Dickhead, I hear you say, were you in Carnaby Street recently? No I wasn't my English friend, as you know I'm Irish, its years ago but what with the Olympics there currently, with an Irish girl interned without trial and tortured, its just not bloody cricket breaking the peace agreement, we have to do something for the poor woman.
So I'm kind of just thinking out loud and I’ll just write the stuff here. If you don’t feckin like what you're reading, you can just piss off! So I'm sittin here on a tropical island in the south China sea, with more pussy than you can shake your stick at! Now I've been thinking lately about the swinging Londoners. So Swinging Dickhead, I hear you say, were you in Carnaby Street recently? No I wasn't my English friend, as you know I'm Irish, its years ago but what with the Olympics there currently, with an Irish girl interned without trial and tortured, its just not bloody cricket breaking the peace agreement, we have to do something for the poor woman.
So with Meme and Pui giggling below deck in my Galway Whooker in the South China Sea, I get an idea. I call Richard my English friend to ask him over. After he arrives, I say to the girls to come out. Come on and say hallo to Richard I shout. Out they come topless with bikini pants and I give the ould English pucker a wave towards them. “Frightfully charming ,” says he. “Delightfully cute.” Blinking his eyes he can’t believe his good fortune. “I’ll leave you at it then Richard,” I tell him, “There's a few berths below to choose from and you can lock the cabin door from inside. “That's jolly decent of you Bernie he say, how can I thank you.” he whispers. “I detest broaching the subject of renumeration but we'll chat again.” Nudge, nudge, wink, wink and he was gone for his oats, quicker than a flash. He didn’t give me a chance to tell him about the mini-cams but ignorance is bliss and what he doesn’t know, won’t bother him for now, let him enjoy himself.
Now I have to digress for a minute to explain how all this came to be. You see there is a right auld unelected bollocks, running Occupied Ireland at the minute, who as some of you might already know has been perverting the course of justice there. Loosing or shredding a Queen's pardon, interning a highly respected Irish woman without trial along with several other political, prisoners of conscience. He's also been torturing her, along with administering considerable cruelty to animals. He fancies himself as bit of a sadistic, Ghengis Khan and he needs sortin.They have a posh, big house in the country in Shropshire I believe, with dogs and horses and all that. I could tell you more but for now, there is this bar-girl sitting on my face.
Right where was I, oh yes, I was on about a bunch of septics riding around somewhere in the South China Sea, having a good time and all that. They aren’t nasty or anything but as some of you will already know, perfdious Albion has some crafty bastards and you couldn’t put anything past them, as my instincts told me a long time ago with my dear friend Richard. Beisdes it wouldn't be wise to go rushing up the Thames with him riding a Galway Whooker protesting torture and internment without trial in British Occupied Ireland, better he go up on his own.
Which brings me back to the first time I met Richard or perhaps I should say his wife. I always enjoyed watching Indonesian women washing clothes, not that I want to piss off any other yachties in marinas of the South China Sea but its a chance to meet my neighbours. So there I was sunning myself on deck, with the women scrubbing away, when an ould english old bag from the next boat, stuck up her blue rinsed head and was waffling on like “Excuse me Paddy but you must realize all this waste, finds it’s way back to our beautiful ecosystem!” “Well yes says I, but you have pissed since you came to this part of the world, have you ?” “Humph, that’s hardly the point, my urine is not the same as your PCBs!.” “Ach, says I that’s why we use organic soap, made with olive oil and a bit of Essex salt mixed in, to help get rid of my underpant's skidmarks.”
I was just going to tell her how ugly she looked, when her old man puts his head above deck with a big Hallo! while getting an eyeful of Pui’s breasts, as she bent over washing her laundry? " Jolly good show" he says. “Yes, I said, a very good show, you should see her pole dancing in my bar at the Jakarta Cock." He gave me a sarcastic smile and goes back to playing with himself or whatever he was at, unaware the trap was set.
“Richard Ainsworth Barclay Q.C. Retired. I used to be a judge.” Bloody hell that was quick, he introduced himself in my place later that evening. “That was a shock seeing you today like that Paddy.” Says the bould judge.“ Call me Bernie. Richard and me, talked about this and about that but mostly, London late sixties early seventies. Boats sailing and the famed Galway Hooker. I notice he was fond of a drop so I ordered another bottle of Jameson.
“You like the Jakarta Cock do you Richard?” “ “Can you keep a secret Bernie?” he says. “Of course I can, between me and you, I have been in places like this more often than I care to mention.” “Really I said?” as I switched on the tape recorder. This will cost you, you Essex bugger. “ I remember the first time I went to a business conference in Hong Kong and some of our chaps wanted a bit of sport, if you know what I mean.” “To see some of the dens of iniquity in the red light and that? Dipped your wick did you?” I said “Oh yes indeed, Bernie old boy. Of course one thing lead to another and to be frank with you, I acquired a taste for it.” “Its been known to happen Richard, just like myself, really.” so on he went.
I let Richard talk as he had so much stuff dammed up inside him and as I was his new best mate who would listen and understand. Inevitably he came to mention my crew. “I must say Bernie, those are saucy little foxes on your boat. You’re lucky, I’m stuck with Dora.” “Yes Richard, I noticed, I'll tell you what, I can fix you up with one of them in the next few days, if you fancy it. Just give me your number and I'll give you a buzz when the coast is clear ” “Muahaha ! Nice one Bernie,” “ Richard, I’ll arrange it, you can have a sandwich if you like!. They like it that way, a change is as good as rest. You can borrow on of my cabins on my boat."
Now this was the nicest thing to happen to Richard for some time. While he was wondering if he could get away with his legal mind at work. I gave him a call next day when Dora was out of the way, as he replied. “That's awfully decent of you Bernie. No problem Rich, bring herself if you like.” knowing full well she had gone out and that was the last thing he wanted. Like I said I got him over to my Galway Whoreker and there he is bangin away below deck. Somebody’s going to get a nasty shock when they find out they will have to single-handedly take my Galway Whoreker up the Thames for an Olympic Protest.
So with Meme and Pui giggling below deck in my Galway Whooker in the South China Sea, I get an idea. I call Richard my English friend to ask him over. After he arrives, I say to the girls to come out. Come on and say hallo to Richard I shout. Out they come topless with bikini pants and I give the ould English pucker a wave towards them. “Frightfully charming ,” says he. “Delightfully cute.” Blinking his eyes he can’t believe his good fortune. “I’ll leave you at it then Richard,” I tell him, “There's a few berths below to choose from and you can lock the cabin door from inside. “That's jolly decent of you Bernie he say, how can I thank you.” he whispers. “I detest broaching the subject of renumeration but we'll chat again.” Nudge, nudge, wink, wink and he was gone for his oats, quicker than a flash. He didn’t give me a chance to tell him about the mini-cams but ignorance is bliss and what he doesn’t know, won’t bother him for now, let him enjoy himself.
Now I have to digress for a minute to explain how all this came to be. You see there is a right auld unelected bollocks, running Occupied Ireland at the minute, who as some of you might already know has been perverting the course of justice there. Loosing or shredding a Queen's pardon, interning a highly respected Irish woman without trial along with several other political, prisoners of conscience. He's also been torturing her, along with administering considerable cruelty to animals. He fancies himself as bit of a sadistic, Ghengis Khan and he needs sortin.They have a posh, big house in the country in Shropshire I believe, with dogs and horses and all that. I could tell you more but for now, there is this bar-girl sitting on my face.
Right where was I, oh yes, I was on about a bunch of septics riding around somewhere in the South China Sea, having a good time and all that. They aren’t nasty or anything but as some of you will already know, perfdious Albion has some crafty bastards and you couldn’t put anything past them, as my instincts told me a long time ago with my dear friend Richard. Beisdes it wouldn't be wise to go rushing up the Thames with him riding a Galway Whooker protesting torture and internment without trial in British Occupied Ireland, better he go up on his own.
Which brings me back to the first time I met Richard or perhaps I should say his wife. I always enjoyed watching Indonesian women washing clothes, not that I want to piss off any other yachties in marinas of the South China Sea but its a chance to meet my neighbours. So there I was sunning myself on deck, with the women scrubbing away, when an ould english old bag from the next boat, stuck up her blue rinsed head and was waffling on like “Excuse me Paddy but you must realize all this waste, finds it’s way back to our beautiful ecosystem!” “Well yes says I, but you have pissed since you came to this part of the world, have you ?” “Humph, that’s hardly the point, my urine is not the same as your PCBs!.” “Ach, says I that’s why we use organic soap, made with olive oil and a bit of Essex salt mixed in, to help get rid of my underpant's skidmarks.”
I was just going to tell her how ugly she looked, when her old man puts his head above deck with a big Hallo! while getting an eyeful of Pui’s breasts, as she bent over washing her laundry? " Jolly good show" he says. “Yes, I said, a very good show, you should see her pole dancing in my bar at the Jakarta Cock." He gave me a sarcastic smile and goes back to playing with himself or whatever he was at, unaware the trap was set.
“Richard Ainsworth Barclay Q.C. Retired. I used to be a judge.” Bloody hell that was quick, he introduced himself in my place later that evening. “That was a shock seeing you today like that Paddy.” Says the bould judge.“ Call me Bernie. Richard and me, talked about this and about that but mostly, London late sixties early seventies. Boats sailing and the famed Galway Hooker. I notice he was fond of a drop so I ordered another bottle of Jameson.
“You like the Jakarta Cock do you Richard?” “ “Can you keep a secret Bernie?” he says. “Of course I can, between me and you, I have been in places like this more often than I care to mention.” “Really I said?” as I switched on the tape recorder. This will cost you, you Essex bugger. “ I remember the first time I went to a business conference in Hong Kong and some of our chaps wanted a bit of sport, if you know what I mean.” “To see some of the dens of iniquity in the red light and that? Dipped your wick did you?” I said “Oh yes indeed, Bernie old boy. Of course one thing lead to another and to be frank with you, I acquired a taste for it.” “Its been known to happen Richard, just like myself, really.” so on he went.
I let Richard talk as he had so much stuff dammed up inside him and as I was his new best mate who would listen and understand. Inevitably he came to mention my crew. “I must say Bernie, those are saucy little foxes on your boat. You’re lucky, I’m stuck with Dora.” “Yes Richard, I noticed, I'll tell you what, I can fix you up with one of them in the next few days, if you fancy it. Just give me your number and I'll give you a buzz when the coast is clear ” “Muahaha ! Nice one Bernie,” “ Richard, I’ll arrange it, you can have a sandwich if you like!. They like it that way, a change is as good as rest. You can borrow on of my cabins on my boat."
Now this was the nicest thing to happen to Richard for some time. While he was wondering if he could get away with his legal mind at work. I gave him a call next day when Dora was out of the way, as he replied. “That's awfully decent of you Bernie. No problem Rich, bring herself if you like.” knowing full well she had gone out and that was the last thing he wanted. Like I said I got him over to my Galway Whoreker and there he is bangin away below deck. Somebody’s going to get a nasty shock when they find out they will have to single-handedly take my Galway Whoreker up the Thames for an Olympic Protest.
galway hoor, parody
Olympics London, London Olympics, Olympics, Olympic, Olympic Games, Games, Two Thousand and Twelve, 2012, Twenty-Twelve, London, medals, sponsors, summer, gold, silver, bronze
